It’s often called “self-esteem” or “self-image”. It’s claimed that its presence makes one attractive. It’s absence tends to create a vicious cycle of those actions by others that make it harder to get. It is impossible to achieve by willpower and cannot be bought.


The innate sense of absolute certainty, of full persuasion, of belief so internalized there is no question of alternatives — knowing that you know what you know, and no one can tell you otherwise.


It turns pigeons into swans, pigs into models, the ignorant into geniouses and impoverished beggars into millionaires. It’s the secret to winning friends and influencing others. Having it and not having it is the difference between happiness and misery.

So what is confidence? What is one to be certain in, persuaded of, to know that you know that you know?
Confidence begins in knowing who you are. Then knowing that who you are is who you are supposed to be. And finally knowing why you are who you are.

Identity, acceptance and destiny equals confidence.

Ignorance and rejection are the root causes of insecurity.

If you don’t know who you are and why you’re here, you have no basis, no foundation, for living. You are rootless and constantly looking for validation. You are afraid to dream, afraid to hope, and eventually your imagination dies because you can’t see any different.

But we all have a reason for existing. It is both universal and unique. Humanity exists to glorify God — in our own each unique way, with our own unique abilities and talents. God will be glorified if we each are fulfilling the life purpose He designed us for. Like the cogs in a machine, we all are in our own unique spot, looking similar, but no one of us can fit in another’s spot, and do another’s job.

But if we do know who we are and why we’re here, but do not get the recognition and celebration of that identity and destiny by others, specifically by those called to help us discover and fulfill those callings… That rejection will forever prevent us from achieving all that we were meant to have, do or be!

We have such power over each other. The cogs in the machine must work together and cannot all be the same. Sometimes they must turn in opposite directions. Why is it so hard for us to appreciate and celebrate differences?

Inappropriate expectations are like rust and dirt in the cogs. They gum up the works. If you expect someone to fit this mold and they don’t, your resistance to their identity and destiny will prevent them from either discovery or fulfillment.

Labels are like trying to force a cog to go a way it won’t — and shouldn’t — go. If you force something to turn in the opposite direction than what it was meant to, eventually something breaks. In people, this is either the relationship between them, or more often, the spirit of the person labelled. Rather than giving the freedom in love for truth, we are harsh and critical and prejudiced, and refuse to acknowlege differences, let alone accept them.

Outright rejection is trying to force a gear out of place or force it into a place it doesn’t belong. Neither will make it fit, and it will not be able to do it’s job properly. It will either break into pieces because the spot is too small, or get lost and constantly be pushed from one side to the next because the spot it too big. A person like this will never feel like they belong or are useful, and will eventually die long before they should have because of the rejection.

The Bible says Judge not lest ye be judged. This is often misused, interpreted to mean “do not judge sin, but be tolerant of all”. Not at all! We are to condemn sin but not people.. We should not decide for another what their identity or destiny is, or that one person’s contribution is more valuable than another! No cog is any less important than any other, even if we all do different jobs.

As Paul said, the hand cannot say to the eye “we don’t need you,” or the foot to the hand, “I’m more important than you!”. All parts of the body are needed, and if anything the ones unseen are more vital to life than the ones seen!

I know my identity.. And I have an idea, a hope, of my destiny. I only wish others would recognize it.. And accept it.